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Mel Hsu - The Holder

from Songs for Something by Songs for Something

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about

Taylor was a force to be reckoned with. She was that friend that always kept you on the seat of your pants; one tiny notch right below this is downright crazy. You always had to be slightly on guard around Tay, because you’d never know when you might be pushed (fully clothed) into the water or cajoled into riding her Segue-bike-wagon-skateboard-tricycle mobile through the neighborhood. At her memorial service, her father told us about the moment after her umpteenth surgery, when the nurses asked her to lie down and rest. Dressed in her hospital gown and with oxygen tank in hand, Taylor got out of bed, walked down fourteen flights of stairs and into the busy NYC streets, found the nearest ice cream truck, bought herself an ice cream, walked back into the hospital and up the stairs, sat back in her bed, and said smugly, “Okay, yeah, I’m ready now to rest now.”

Taylor was diagnosed with cancer in the 6th grade. She spent the majority of her life in and out of the hospital, undergoing surgery and recovering from chemotherapy. She never liked to talk about her illness, would rather talk to us about boys than about the side of death that she saw from a young age. She passed away the year before we graduated high school. “The Holder” was written some time after her memorial service. The first verse is about watching her boyfriend speak at the service. I was hit with the pitting realization that all of the memories that the two of them created together were now only his to carry. What moved me the most about Taylor and Jordan was their ability to love deeply and vulnerably, even though they both knew that their relationship would have to end all too soon. Tay lived with an unbelievable fullness and compassion, despite knowing that her life could be cut short at any time.

Taylor created TayBandz (www.taybandz.org) when she was 11, with the dream that someday no child would have to face cancer. TayBandz is a non-profit dedicated to raising awareness and funding research for pediatric cancer. Taylor’s family is still working tirelessly to carry out Taylor’s dreams.

-Mel

credits

from Songs for Something, released September 24, 2012
Music and lyrics by Melanie Hsu

Melanie Hsu: vocals, cello
Stephanie Hsu: viola

Recorded, Mixed by Jared Paul at the Cross St. Lab

For more from Mel, check out melaniehsu.bandcamp.com

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Songs for Something Middletown, Connecticut

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